Dumb, dumb thing to do.

After climbing up to 8,842 ft., one tends to do the dumbest things sometimes. Would I do it all over again? Without a doubt.

Did I leave the stove on?

I was doing quite alot of constructive thinking out here. Revelations, really, to be exact. Did I leave the stove on at home? How do I get back down now? What was my second grade school teacher's first name? Why did I forget to bring my chair? Would I have made a good lawyer if I had studied in college like my mom had told me? What is Dianetics about anyways? Is Tom Cruise its leader? Does he make a shit-load of money from it?

We summitted! (8.2 miles travelled)

Needless to say, the bird's eye views were simply spectacular... "Dum-da-da-dumm, Go Fozzie, go Fozzie, go Fozzie, go, go, go Fozzie!... guitar please..."

At the Cables (8.0 miles travelled)

We asked a fellow hiker to take this photo of us. He had come all the way from Japan to do Half Dome.




The cable climb is 70 to 75 degrees steep. It requires mostly hand grip and upper body strength to pull your body weight up.

Zooom IN to see the actual cables.

The Steep Switchbacks (7.8 miles travelled)

This is where your balls are sized. You'd be surprised how many people of all ages and fitness levels decide to abort the climb here. There's ALOT of loose gravel on these rocks. I personally despise the switchbacks more than the cables. If you're scared of heights, this is the place you'll confirm it. Hiking shoes with good traction are highly recommended. There was a strong-built man that turned back half way up the switchbacks. He was wearing Sketchers sneakers.

Two Parts to Half Dome (7.4 miles travelled)

At this point, there are two difficult parts to get to the top of Half Dome. The first part are the very steep switchbacks. The second, the cables. We rested a few minutes before embarking on this. It gave us time to assess the magnitude of what we were about to do, and to hope that the other person would say, "let's turn back." No one did. Damn human ego -- why do we have it?

There it is! (7.0 miles travelled)

The first real view of the rock we're going to climb. We didn't know whether to be happy or to cry. A little bit of both would be an accurate description. Onward.

Half Dome 2.0 (6.2 miles travelled)

This is where you start feeling the leg muscles begin to faintly burn. To make things worse, the terrain begins to get a bit more difficult, and the heat begins to hit you. The closer you get, the harder it gets physically and mentally. (don't let that smile fool you.)

Entering Bambi's Land (5.7 miles travelled)

Here we are in Bambi's land. This beautiful doe took us by surprise. For a minute, we thought it was a plastic Christmas decoration in the bushes because it didn't move for a long while. We were only about 10 feet away from her, and we were happy we didn't scare it away.

Water! Agua!! 水!!! (4.6 miles travelled)

This stream is the last filterable water source before we take the Half Dome Trail. So it's time to refill our empty liter bottles. About 4.5 liters of water are required per person for this hike. The sparkling water here actually tastes like it has half a squeeze of fresh pine nuts. This has made me feel like I am one-with-the-universe again. It's 10:05 AM and we're on track.

Mist Trail and JMT Intersection (3.7 miles travelled)

There is a little toilet at this point where the Mist Trail and the John Muir Trail intersect. It was time to piss for everyone. According to the sign here, we still have 4.5 miles to Half Dome.

Behind our shoulders (3.0 miles travelled)

At this point, the top of Nevada Falls is just to our right (not shown in photo). It's 8:45 AM and we've gained some good altitude by now.

Vernal Falls (1.0 miles travelled)

We had decided before the trip to take the Mist Trail going up and the JMT (John Muir Trail) coming down. From these stairs, we have about 0.5 miles to the top of the falls.

Half Asleep for Half Dome (0.0 miles travelled)

We woke up with our cell phone "alarm clock" at 5:30 AM. Our breakfast consisted of instant oatmeal and instant coffee. After checking this and packing that, somehow, we didn't leave camp until 6:55 AM. We decided to walk to the Happy Isles trailhead instead of using the Free Hybrid Bus System (it doesn't start to operate until 7:00'ish). It was 1/2 mile to the trailhead. We each downed half a liter of Gatorade before reaching the trailhead (important to get early hydration).

This photo marks the beginning of our Half Dome climb.

Calculations:
- Upper Pines Camp to Half Dome: 17 miles round-trip
- Half Dome Summit: 8,842 ft
- Total elevation gain: 4,796 ft (in one day)
- Cable climb: 900 ft (yyyikes!)

The Evening Before Half Dome

Rick the Neighbor
We were promptly "welcomed home" by our neighbor, and quick-to-become friend, Rick from site #36. After quite a lot of talking, and through some photos of his spring camping trip that he showed us, we realized that he had occupied the SAME EXACT site #13 in Lower Pines RIGHT BEFORE we did during April. What are the chances of that happening? (there's more on Rick later)

The Volunteer
and his "Diuretic" Horse
A volunteer ranger was kind enough to stop by our site and chat. However, seconds after taking this photo, the horse couldn't hold his piss any longer and let himself go.

The German Couple
Later that night, we also met up with a young German couple and chatted for hours. I got a feeling that the boyfriend was a bit paranoid when I noticed that he carried a bullhorn and mace with him everywhere he went. That stuff will get better usage in Los Angeles.

Bathroom Gatekeeper

We set up camp in Upper Pines, site #38.

Gripe of the Day:
When we reserved our site back in April, Mr. Fozzie wanted to be near the Merced River, and Mrs. Fozzie, the bathroom. Girls. Anyways, I used a map that showed the entire topography of Upper Pines. Sure enough, as soon as we arrived today and glanced at the spot of dirt that would be our home for the next 3 nights, I had my daily moment of epiphany -- THE DAMN MAP WAS NOT DRAWN TO SCALE!! We were SOOOO close to this public bathroom that I decided to volunteer to become its 24-hour gatekeeper (ie., to keep it's door closed shut at all times!)

Grizzly Giant

Last spring, we missed the Grizzly Giant because Mariposa Grove was closed due to the snow. This time it was open. Repeat after me - "Hip Hip Hurray!... Hip Hip Hurray!!" You're silly. So we did a short easy hike from the south entrance of Yosemite to see the 2700-year-old tree. Not only is the Grizzly Giant the largest tree in Yosemite, but it's the 5th largest tree in the world (2 million pounds). What a waste! That could make 102,053 IKEA $39 coffee tables.

China Alley in Hanford

We had been eager to visit China Alley for about a year. And, when we got there, we realized that-- it was totally worth it. As we walked through this narrow street alley, you could almost hear the voices of these early Chinese and sounds of old daily life echo off these old brick walls.

Old Photo 1: Sue Chung Kee Son & Co., Hanford, CA, Established 1886
Old Photo 2

I can't really say the same for the rest of Hanford. During the short half day that we were there, we got the strangest feeling that the people in this tiny town had a slight drinking problem. (the white bums lying around town and public signs reading, "No drinking beyond this point" kinda gave it away.)

Black Bear Diner

We arrived at our first official stop of Hanford (near Sequoia) a bit shy of 9 PM. The extra 70 mile detour didn't really help our desired dinner plans since we were still 1 hour behind schedule. After freshening up at our hotel room, we drove around and found a nearby restaurant called Black Bear Diner. The menus were neat... in the form of local daily newspapers. One headline read, "Man Falls Off Half Dome and Dies." Humm. A nice new waitress, Stephanie, helped us get our growling stomachs filled. Mrs. Fozzie had a rack of ribs and Mr. Fozzie had chicken fried steak. The portions were sized for horses. It was really just too much food.

Goodbye L.A. (or NOT!)

After packing all morning today, we left Mr. Fozzie's home at 1:45 PM. Our "Goodbye L.A." hype, motivation, and ritual-like chanting was quickly pissed on as we reached Castaic (on the 5 fwy, shortly after Magic Mountain). We had prepared for just about everything. The last thing on our list was a Southern California mountain BRUSH FIRE!! We were forced to skip our amusement park stop and continue as far as we could to beat traffic and time. But by Elizabeth Lake we were completely stopped right before Gorman. We were literally PARKED on the freeway for 2.5 hours. The heat didn't really help our mood... nor the engine. Our "brand new" rental car from Alamo began to-- yes, overheat! But opening the hood of the car slightly and blasting on the air vents helped cool down the engine while we continued to trickle down toward our soon-to-come detour route of 138. After nine-thousand-nine-hundred-ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall repetitions, we were off. The detour would cost us an additional 70 miles. Half Dome, here we come!... I think.

The Preparation

We hope our information can help anyone out there that is planning to go up the Yosemite Half Dome.

For those of you that know us, we're probably the least athletic people in Southern California. So both Mrs. Fozzie and I thought it would be wise to start conditioning our poorly-maintained bodies to environments similar to those we'd face going up Half Dome (our goal) at least a month before the real thing. Our "training" consisted of walking the moderately steep streets that loop around Mrs. Fozzie's home neighborhood.

Because we'd be doing Half Dome in 1 single day, here was the agenda we stuck to during the month of August:

Exercise:
- Week 1: 1 flat mile (very painful!)
- Week 2: 3 steeper miles (less painful)
- Week 3: 5 steep miles (almost no pain)
- Week 4: 6 steep miles (no pain)
- Week 4(again): 7 steeper miles (by this time it's almost fun)

We also did moderate hand grip exercises and upper body/arm exercises (for the cable part of the climb). Any opportunity we had to walk, we'd walk it -- even to return movies at Blockbuster! (walking is a rare activity in Los Angeles)

New Equipment Purchased:
- 2 pairs of thick leather work gloves ($2.10/pair)
- 1 Katadyn Water Filter (approx. 4.5 liters of water is required per person) - $60
- That's it!